This was inspired by a writing prompt asking us to write a letter apologizing to our conscience. If you have a similar story, share a link below.

Dear Conscience,

After years of disagreements and endless arguments, I think it’s time I write you a note of apology.

Like nobody else in my life, you’ve always been there for me. It’s rare that you come across someone who undoubtedly has your best interests at heart. For that, I’d like to thank you. You’ve put up with me through some horrible decisions and very trying times .There were the decisions I took your advice and only listened half-heartedly, only to pay for my indifference later. And there were times, despite your best efforts, I took your advice and unequivocally spit in the face of all you’d warned me against and paid dearly. I’m sorry.

Throughout our friendship, one of the main themes you attempted to impart on me was to always do what makes me happy. I may not have had a clear idea what those things were specifically. But it was a great injustice to argue with you for years and do nothing simply because I didn’t have the courage to face the unknown and risk failure.

It’s been at least 10 years now we’ve been discussing what I should be doing with my life professionally. To be fair, for the beginning 3 or 4 years I didn’t give you much information to work with. However, around that 4 year timeframe I started letting you know how much I enjoyed reading. In time, my interest in reading led me to think that writing was possibly a career I could see myself doing. Most important to you, it would have been a job that would have made me happy as far as I could tell.

We started having discussions quite often regarding my professional future, and you were always steadfast in your response. “Do what makes you happy”. For advice that is so straightforward and honest, I wonder to this day why I had such trouble taking it in. I used to argue that I had already put in more than 75% of the time towards another degree and future. What was the point in starting over when the finish line was so already within my grasp? You would tell me that I have my whole life to work and that the journey was just beginning, always reminding me that the few extra years I’d have to put towards fulfilling my new goal would be insignificant when compared to the frustration I’d endure ending up in a career I didn’t love. And all because I was in a hurry to cross the college finish line.

Again, I’m sorry. As always, you knew best. I feel as if this note of apology is only the first step in making up for the years of disrespect I’ve shown you and your advice. Just like me, I’m sure you’re tired of the wordplay and broken promises I seem to always direct your way. The time calls for action, and I think I’m finally coming around to that realization that I’ll never be happy being inactive. I know what I want now and nobody is going to give it to me out of the kindness of their heart. It might be a little harder to achieve compared to 5 or 6 years ago, but my goals are still attainable. The only missing piece is my effort.

For years, you’ve been telling me just that. Everything I want is mine for the taking, but it’s up to me to reach out and snatch it. I may not have the journey all mapped out from point A to Z, but the drive is there and it’s all thanks to your unmatchable perseverance to guide me. Thank you for sticking with me for so long. Thank you for never giving up on me no matter how much I ignored you. Thank you.

Your loyal friend,

D.A.

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